The Seattle wedding adventure

Wednesday 17 July Saline, MI to Seattle, WA

The fun and joys of moving into a new house often mean that things get accomplished much more slowly than you would like, this is especially true of doing home improvement projects that you have no previous experience with. Sometimes it’s frustrating and other times it ends up secretly working out for the best. Our experience with staining the concrete floor of the basement ended up being one of those where taking longer to finish it up was a good thing. We did a water based stain so the actual staining wasn’t bad, it just took us a long time to get the look right. The sealing ended up being the big issue. For those of you who haven’t worked with concrete sealant believe me when I say this stuff is noxious and awful. I had to turn off all the pilot lights in the basement in order to not risk the fumes from the sealant exploding from the pilot light flame. I waited until later that night so we could make sure the kids had hot water for their baths and that we had hot water for the dishes. So around ten p.m. the night before I have to get up at 4 a.m. to make a 6:40 a.m. flight to Seattle, I start to seal the concrete floor of the basement. I’m a genius. I opened the windows in the basement and apparently the smell and the fumes are so bad, Megan has to open every window in the house and honestly it doesn’t seem to help that much. The whole house stinks and just walking around in it hurts my eyes a little bit. I have no idea how the kids slept through it, but they did and they don’t seem to be damaged by it either(thank God). All in all, it ended up being the perfect thing to do before we left our house for a week as we can let the house air out and not suffer through the process. 

Both Megan and I “sleep” a little bit before the alarm goes off way too early and then get the bags in the car and start preparing all the little things one needs to get ready in order to have a successful flying experience with small children. We finally get piled in the car and Logan stares at his hands the whole drive while I wonder why my eyelids taste purple. The airport part goes fairly smoothly except for an incident in which Southwest decided they needed proof that Elizabeth was under two years old, so she could legally sit in our laps and apparently her inability to stand, walk, or talk just didn’t pass the common sense test. We get on the plane and Logan settles in pretty well, he’s not a stranger to air travel and we’ve conditioned him over the past few years to think that while on long trips being motionless and watching a DVD to pass the time is the way to go. Don’t judge, you’re all either going to do it too, or you’re jealous that this didn’t exist when you were raising kids. Elizabeth however has not been DVD trained and so begins playing a rousing game of “drop things and make Dada pick them up” that she plays for the next hour. We finally get her to sleep and I crash out as well until we land in Denver and lo and behold our flight to Seattle is boarding. Megan somehow interprets that to mean that now is the perfect time to get coffee despite the fact that her ticket is the one Elizabeth’s information is attached to, luckily I’m able to do the harried parent begging thing and the gate agent lets me on board. The next flight goes well and luckily we’re able to get Elizabeth to sleep for the last hour of the flight. Megan and I do as well, which means that Logan is stuck watching his DVD between two sleeping parents until the descent is called and we have to shut down his DVD player and he doesn’t understand why and decides it’s because we’re torturing him and throws a fit. So now for a minor segue’, the having electronic devices off regulation is ridiculously outdated and ineffective to boot. For the outdated part, airplanes have had to have their electronics shielded for years and the interference from personal electronic devices is just not going to have an effect on, y’know, a damn thing. As far as ineffective, you all know that you keep some devices on, don’t pretend you don’t, or if it’s really not you(yeah, right) then think of the rest of the plane and remember that people as an overall organism suck. As always though government regulations are hard to kill and even harder if they’re related to the dreaded “S” word……safety, I remember when I was in the military that the fight against stupid new rules was instantly over the moment safety was brought up. Witness the creeping expansion of reflective belts into everything the military does, despite the fact that their impact is beyond debatable and people HATE them. You can see that in the next two photos. 

We get into Seattle and get the car, which instantly becomes a hybrid the moment I say I will prepay for a tank of gas(By the way I was overcharged this time around to enough of an extent that I am now going to go through the hassle of filling up myself every time thus no longer paying for a high-margin convenience, rental car companies you did this to yourselves). I dislike the idea of hybrids because of the whole “I’m a smug environmentalist out to save the world, but not really because I won’t give up any conveniences” marketing angle that was taken with the Prius, not because I have any problem with making cars more fuel efficient. I have to admit that being able to drive around for almost a week and drive a lot of long distances and only draw down about ¾ of a tank makes me even more of a convert. Anyway we get down to near Tacoma to see a friend of ours from Okinawa who lives near Fort Lewis, WA. We get to the house and enjoy getting reacquainted and Logan decides to start bullying our friends young son, Megan finally gets sick of it(I’m too tired to care about much of anything by this point) and sends me back to the hotel with Logan so he can have some time and space to himself. I head back, get checked in, and then turn on a movie for Logan and play with him for a little bit before we fall asleep. Two to three hours later Megan calls us back to the friends’ house and we have a nice dinner out on their porch. The funniest part is when a couple of bees come down and check out Logan’s chicken, and then tear off a piece of it and fly away(this is not hyperbole, this actually happened). We hang out for a couple more hours and then head home and go to bed.

Thursday 18 August Seattle area

We wake up and take a little while to get going before heading into downtown Seattle. Somehow we end up in rockstar parking right outside of Ye Olde Curiousity Shoppe which is perfect for us as we get to take Logan inside one of the coolest stores in the U.S. Logan is fascinated by the bug displays which at the time I think is great, but which comes back to bite us a few days later. After killing an appropriate amount of time in the Shoppe we head over to Ivar’s for lunch. We get outdoor seating so Logan can feed the Seagulls and we can enjoy a rare sunny day in the Pacific Northwest. I get in line at Ivar’s to order food and am treated to a lovely overheard conversation between the two people behind me, I won’t bore you with the whole thing but this line was priceless, “I won’t eat meat, but I could see eating insects because they have a hive mind and therefore I wouldn’t take anything out of the collective conscious.” I cup my hand and prepare to render an epic “This is for your own good hippy!” slap of judgment, but as I turn around the slap dies in my hand, unrendered. This dude is about my height, but maybe 100 lb.’s soaking wet, his chest looks like it might actually be concave, he’s got coke bottle glasses, and he’s wearing raggedy old hipster clothes that don’t look good on anyone, but especially not him. In other words no matter which way he swings his only hope of getting some lovin’ is to go super-sensitive pseudo-intellectual and pray someone’s dumb enough to fall for it. So the hippy slap was unused and needs to be deployed soon, before it turns inward and attacks me. Luckily I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan and it’s only a matter of time. I pick up our meals and head down to where my family is sitting and we enjoy the sunny day and Logan LOVES feeding the seagulls. I don’t think he had more than one or two of his fries, the rest ended up getting pitched to the seagulls that flock near Ivar’s. He doesn’t quite have the underarm toss thing down and there’s a few times I’m afraid the seagulls are going to get his fingers rather than the fries, but it never happens and we leave Ivar’s with a very happy little boy in tow. We then head up to the Pike’s place market and wander around, Megan heads into the original Starbucks to get a city mug and we wind down our little bit of being touristy in Seattle and head out to my high school buddy’s place in Duvall, WA. It’s great to get out to his place and see him again, he and his fiancée are unbelievably amazing hosts and we have a fun night with them.

Friday 19 August Seattle area

We wake up early and hang out downstairs trying to not wake up my buddy and his fiancée which is difficult, but possible with the aid of nature documentaries on Netflix. We drink too much of his coffee and then we eat too much of his food when he wakes up and makes breakfast for everyone. My buddy is a great cook and breakfast is delicious. I can’t remember which morning was pancakes and which one was breakfast burrito’s but both were amazing and I’m trying to figure out how to get him out to Michigan and cooking for us when he’s out here even as a guest, maybe begging will work…….. The rest of the day is pretty easy going before we get together with a small group of high school buddies and have a nice picnic together. We head about fifteen minutes south of Duvall to a pretty little city park in which you have to cross a bridge in order to get to the picnic area that’s right down by the river, the woods are right there and there’s apparently some great hiking trails around as well. My buddy’s fiancée(lovely girl, far too good for him) thinks this might be a great site for their wedding next year, I agree until I see the dreaded Alcoholic beverages not allowed sign. I have to fight to breathe thinking about a wedding without alcohol and then calm down considerably when I remember two solid points, 1. I just spent the last two years of my life getting plastered in Michigan stadium, if anyone knows how to smuggle booze into somewhere, it’s me(hey, I learned at the feet of great booze sneakers like the Dougli, the Andersons, and many, many others, this great debt may be why I love y’all so much). And 2. It’s a wedding and the No Alcohol rule is going to be the most violated rule ever. The picnic is a lot of fun and then we retreat back to my buddies place and have a nice conversation over beers. My buddy bought a 12 pack of Alaskan Amber for which I am more than a little grateful. For those who haven’t tried it, think a smoother Fat Tire, for those who can’t relate to that think Bell’s Amber with a slightly sweeter taste. If you still can’t relate then I despair of your taste in beer. The overall picnic and drinks afterwards was great and I'm distinctly honored that my friends took the time to come and see us. Seattle is an interesting city for me now because it has become a big magnet for both a lot of high school buddies and a lot of people I know from B-school. I must say If I ever decide to move it’s going to be hard not to pick the Seattle area because of how many great people are living out there now and hopefully will continue to do so.

Saturday 20 August Seattle, WA to Leavenworth, WA the wedding day.

We again wake up early and try not to disturb my friends, and again are treated to a wonderful breakfast, before we head up to Leavenworth for the wedding. It’s sad to leave them, but at the same time there’s only so long you can spend at someone’s house before you wear out your welcome, hopefully we left before then. The drive up to Leavenworth is gorgeous, all through the Washington Mountains, for extra fun I even notice the put-in spot from a rafting trip I took years before. After a couple of hours drive we make it into Leavenworth and the town is interesting, on the one hand it looks like the exact kind of tourist hell that so many unique places in the U.S. have turned into. The town’s German heritage has been fully exploited and while the architecture is neat it’s also ever present and somewhat cartoony, like the village near the Matterhorn at Disneyland(if you’ve never been to Disneyland and thus can’t relate to that all I can say is I’m sorry your parents didn’t love you). Balancing that is that the scenery is incredible, the town is RIGHT up against some very tall and steep mountains and so you feel isolated, but not in a bad way. I’ll never be sure if I liked the town or not, but the area is beautiful and my friend’s wedding was fun, so I’ll always have some fond memories of it.

Megan and I meet up with our in-laws and get checked into the hotel with about an hour to go before the wedding, we get to the wedding site just in the nick of time and meet up with a group of b-school buddies, it’s really good to see everyone again and we get a quick debrief on the summers activities before we go and sit down. Because we got in a little later than most of the guests we go sit on the side that is in the sun and it is more than a little warm. As Megan, me, and my b-school buddies take our seats and quietly begin to sweat off about twenty pounds each, I look at the wedding program and see that it’s a Catholic ceremony and I begin to make plans for how to get water after the ceremony and see who will probably need to be treated for heat stroke before the end of the wedding. Luckily, I think my friend who is getting married thought about this and the ceremony is short and sweet and very touching(My favorite part was the mixing of the Maize and Blue sand). After the ceremony begins cocktail hour and then we move off to dinner and the dancing parts of the night. I notice the dinner tables where the b-school buddies of the bride and groom are seated are well out of the way in the “Oh, God these are the people who will embarrass us.” Section. This may be justified but Megan and I are married with kids and therefore lame, there’s no way one of us would put someone on their shoulders against their will and dance for a bit(Matt S. if you’re reading this, I am really sorry but it seemed like a good idea at the time). The reception is really fun and in a nice touch, there’s pie for dessert vs. cake. Megan and I head out early and since our bed is in the loft at the hotel, there’s some interesting moments climbing down steep and small stairs while still buzzed at 3 in the morning to take care of Elizabeth’s midnight feeding.

Sunday 21 August Leavenworth, WA

We wake up slightly late and barely manage to get to the breakfast buffet on time. The hotel we’re staying at has a spectacular buffet and I’m really glad that breakfast is included in the room rate, because I have a feeling that the price of paying for the breakfast separately would make me hyperventilate in a miser induced panic. We say goodbye to the bride and groom and the b-school crew and then head into Leavenworth for the day. Sundays in a tourist trap are always questionable, parking is tough and the town is generally crowded. We manage to find a parking spot after lots of driving around and conversations that alternately point out possible spots to park in and then sinking realizations that the spot isn’t available for one reason or another. We spend the day walking around the town and then Megan decides she wants to go to a Christmas shop, which doesn’t exactly thrill me. In a full confession, I’m a well known Grinch and therefore Christmas stuff tends to give me hives. The store gives me the creeps and not just in a this place is full of crap you don’t need and will only display for a month out the year, otherwise taking up valuable storage space in your house way(I told you I’m a Grinch), but it’s full of these artistic Elves that look like they’re going to come to life and axe murder me any second. Don’t believe me just Google Mark Roberts and see how creepy these things are, better yet just check out this website http://www.fairiesbymarkroberts.com/ and see if you don’t have nightmares the next night, I dare you.

We go back to the hotel and then head to the pool as Logan is displaying signs of needing a physical outlet. The pool at this hotel is awesome, it’s set into the rocks and has a large deep end in which the rocks around it are anywhere from 4 to 6 feet above the surface of the water. This is perfect for jumping in and doing the front flips in which you don’t quite make it and spend the next ten minutes in a manly grimace which doesn’t at all conceal that you’re in incredible pain because you’re stupid. The best thing about the pool session is Logan jumps into the pool WITHOUT A LIFEJACKET and then swims short distances. The goal of the summer has been realized and formal swim lessons start next summer, unfortunately Logan’s got my body type of long torso and shorter legs so I doubt he’ll be a good competitive swimmer(for example I’m a good swimmer relative to the population only because I grew up on the swim team and spent my summers in the pool, but I’m not that good relative to other people who’ve spent similar amounts of time in the water), but that’s okay there’re plenty of other sports out there. We finally all head to bed and Logan cries for snuggling at around 1 in the morning so I go down to his bed and get him back to sleep, thinking it’s for the rest of the night. This is not to be, he wakes up at 2:30 SCREAMING bloody murder saying the bugs are eating him. I look at him and see despite the fact that his eyes are open he’s still locked in the dream, I hug him and tell him its okay and he needs to wake up. Everyone else is awake and Megan comes screaming down the stairs and takes Logan out of my arms(I think it’s a mommy thing) and finally gets him calmed down. I grab up Elizabeth and get her back to sleep after a few minutes. While going through this night terror was awful there was one funny moment, after Logan had been screaming for a good four or five minutes Megan finally got him to where he could talk and she asked him what he wanted to do and Logan’s response was “I want to keep screaming.” What can I say the boy is strong willed.

Monday 22 August Leavenworth to Seattle to Detroit to Saline

As you can tell by the title this was a long day, it was made even longer by the fact that our flight out of Denver was delayed by about an hour. We finally got home at two in the morning and both kids were ready to party, we got them to sleep around 3:30 and then everyone in the house slept until 10. Overall, it was a great trip. Thanks to all those who hosted us, ate and drank with us, or invited us to your wedding. We enjoyed seeing all of you and hope that it’s not too long until we meet again.

The final stretch

Day 40 24 July Sunday Lamoille, NV to Grand Junction, CO

Once again it’s time to pack up the van and hit the open road. I’m a little bit sad as I have no idea when I’ll be able to make it back to my hometown, but we’ve got to get back to Ann Arbor and get moved into the new house. We start early in the morning as we’re meeting a good friend from Okinawa and his kids at a park in Salt Lake City for lunch. We haven’t seen him for two years and I’m honestly curious to see if it’ll be awkward at all. It isn’t, it’s fun to see him and the kids have a great time running around the park. It’s a nice, sunny day which also means it’s hot but we’re able to find sufficient shade and let the kids get some needed exercise given that they’ll be sitting in the car for the rest of the day. We then drive down to Grand Junction and check into the hotel. I take Logan to the pool and we have a nice time, despite the presence of a large group of teenagers. However this particular group of teenagers are so quiet and well-behaved I assume they’re part of a church group. This is until a couple of them start loudly pontificating about why the troubles at OSU are all Pryor’s fault and that Tressel was a scapegoat, it’s not just the fact that they’re Buckeye fans that makes me think they’re satan-worshippers it’s the language they’re using to “discuss” the situation. I speak up, if only to remind them a little kids around, and ask them where they’re from. The group says they’re from all over and are a group of cop’s kids on a summer camp. Which explains the lack of things on fire and chairs in the pool.

Day 41 25 July Grand Junction to Colorado Springs, CO

We get rolling and do the gorgeous drive through Colorado on I-70, I suspect that I bore the hell out of Megan on the drive as I tell her all kinds of stories from last summer’s MTrek and my Academy years, but I have a good time on memory lane. The drive goes quickly and I enjoy driving through the great state of Colorado until…….we hit late afternoon C-Springs traffic on I-25 and it takes about an hour to get from Castle Rock to the Springs. Why I-25 hasn’t been expanded to 3 lanes the entire way between Denver and the Springs is a mystery as the traffic on that stretch has gotten even worse since I was a cadet and it was a parking lot back then. We finally pull into my sponsor’s house and I get to enjoy the company of two of the greatest people to grace planet Earth. For those unfamiliar with the concept, Sponsor families are people who are willing to open up their homes and their lives to cadets at the Air Force Academy and be a sort of second family to cadets at the academy. For a lot of people the relationship never takes off for one reason or another, for me I basically really did pick up a second family and I am forever grateful for that, they made my life as a cadet and a real, live person so much better. One somewhat funny thing about the decor is the fact that the picture my sponsors have of me is one in which my sponsor brother(cadet who shares the same sponsors) and I are completely trashed. I take some small comfort in the fact that the photo makes me look sober while my sponsor brother looks five sheets to the wind, so at least Logan won’t say “Daddy, what’s wrong with you?” when he sees it.

My Sponsors live up on a hill in Western C-Springs and they have an amazing view of Pike’s Peak and the Front Range of the Rockies. I take a walk with my sponsor Dad and Logan around the neighborhood and soak in the mountain air. One the way back to the house we see a Doe and I get to enjoy a moment of pointing out the deer to Logan.

Day 42 26 July Colorado Springs, CO

Finalizing a mortgage when you’re on the road is not fun. If anyone tells you it is, they are out of their minds. I spend far more of the day than I would like printing stuff out and Megan has to run over to a Kinko’s to fax it in to the mortgage company office. Luckily my sponsors know of a house in the neighborhood that has a pool and they’ve made friends with the family so they are able to call and ask if we can bring the kids over to go swimming. The answer(Thank God!) is yes and so I head over with the kids and my sponsor parents while Megan makes a fax machine run. There’s already another family at the house and the pool is filled with kids which is really nice. Logan has a ball and then discovers how much fun the slide is and goes down it at least twenty times, luckily Elizabeth is napping in my arms and my sponsor dad gets the duty of getting Logan when he comes down the slide and dragging him through the water to the stairs. Logan can swim, but he does it kind of slowly. It’s a fun afternoon and I’m a little sad when it comes to an end. We have a nice night, with a fun dinner with some more friends from Okinawa(who I really hope decide to sponsor Cadets, their house is amazing and they’re the kind of busy, bustling family a homesick kid would love to be around) and then some wonderful conversation when we get back to my sponsors. Five a.m. comes too quickly.

Day 43 27 July Colorado Springs, Co to Kansas City, MO

As I said five a.m. comes too quickly, but Megan and I haul ourselves out of bed and start getting the van ready for a long day on the road. It’s about eleven hours of driving to get from C-Springs to Kansas City and we want to get in in time to enjoy seeing my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins. So we head off across Eastern Colorado and Kansas and Hoo Boy is it boring, I thought North Dakota was bad. Kansas is worse, North Dakota at least had the giant Cow. We have two notable “incidents” the first is when Logan informs us he has to go to the potty and we pull off to a remotely run gas station that has “bathrooms”. The station is closed and yet someone decided that locking the bathroom doors would be too easy and so I’m treated to a sight that I won’t soon forget. I take Logan behind the building and instruct him to water the weeds growing through the pavement. The next incident is a massive traffic slowdown that we run into just outside of Kansas City. The best part is that this is caused because the highway patrol had to shut down a section of highway because the pulled over an RV and the guy holed himself up in it and threatened to commit suicide. Don’t get me wrong as I was depressed at the thought of driving through Kansas as well, but I did think this guys response was a little extreme. We finally get to my cousin’s house and see the whole clan. My Aunt and Uncle have flown out from Santa Fe and it’s a true pleasure to see them as well as seeing the cousins. It’s great to be around family as my cousin’s fiancée comes and immediately insists she take the dogs for a walk and I have ton of help unloading the van. My Cousin has cooked up a great Mexican meal and we enjoy a great evening with some of the people I love best. At the end of the night Logan entertains everyone by pretending to have a phone conversation with my cousin’s son over the baby monitor. It’s hilarious and he clearly enjoys the attention.

Day 44 28 July Kansas City, MO to Ann Arbor, MI

We spend most of the day with my family in Kansas City and again spend more of it than I would like on paperwork. It’s part of the reason we’ve decided to drive throughout the night to get into Ann Arbor by Friday in case anything else comes up with the paperwork. This way we can at least stop by the office and after driving through the night our zombified appearance ought to scare the guys at the mortgage company into being more helpful.

The day in Kansas City is pleasant, we have a fun time walking through the Hallmark company tourist center and the ribbon making machine is really cool, it makes a ribbon for you while you wait and I can’t help but think that this is the type of thing I would spend FAR too much time at if I was drunk. For lunch/dinner we order barbecue from a classic Kansas City barbecue joint and it is fabulous, I only wish I remembered the name. We enjoy some time to hang out and conversation before hitting the road at eight o’clock at night. My Aunt and Uncle and my Cousins are awesome and it's a real pity that we have to leave, but the road is calling. Driving through the night actually has some advantages, the kids and the dogs sleep the entire time and therefore we don’t have to stop every couple hours to take care of bathroom, bottles, food, etc. We can just go. The problem is that driving through the night for long hours is a tough experience because the dark presses in around you and you can’t see anything outside of your little world, it’s hard to contextualize distance when your whole world doesn’t extend beyond your headlights and what they reveal about the road. In this respect flying at night and driving at night aren’t very different and if you want to know what an airline pilot is going through on a night flight stay awake and pay attention to everything that’s going on when in the car late at night, the catch is you don’t drive(the autopilot does that) and you have to imagine the lights being both above and below you and after a while let your eyes close enough that everything blurs and you're not entirely sure where the horizon is, then turn off the radio and find something with static only with bursts of semi-intelligible chatter. The catch is if you drift a little bit while flying, no big deal until it's landing time and that's only a few minutes of concentrated effort, drifitng while driving has .......... bigger consequences. We get into Ann Arbor on Friday morning and thankfully Megan talked the people at the hotel into letting us check in early. We spend the rest of the day in a kind of strange, tired haze and wonder why the mortgage company doesn’t need us for anything, but at least we’re in Ann Arbor and the trip is over! 44 days on the road, 16 states, and thousands of miles later we have pulled it off. Kids and Dogs are still alive and Megan and I are still married. Yeah, we’re awesome.

The rest of the story………
So we get to Ann Arbor and spend the weekend cooling our heels until we can close on the house on Monday 1 August. We have to check the dogs into a pet hotel as the dogs have had enough time with each other and get really aggressive on a drive into Ann Arbor, it scares Elizabeth badly and we even look up animal shelters. Luckily, the pet hotel has a vacancy and we’re able to keep the dogs. This is a good thing as Megan and I both were arguing to keep different dogs.

We’re not able to close on the house on 1 August, something we at least find out about on 31 July. As a result we decide to check into the Splash Universe hotel located in Dundee, MI http://www.splashuniverse.com/Dundee/index.htm just off highway 23 by the giant Cabela’s. This is both because we’re tired of the Motel 6 and because we figure Logan could really use a larger area to run around in and have a good time in a waterpark. The place is a lot of fun and perfectly sized for a kid Logan’s age, Logan has a ball and I have fun too, although the constant 80’s hair band music playing in the background makes me think of the Napoleon hanging out at Waterloo scene in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. For my young business school friends Bill & Ted’s Excellent adventure was an 80’s movie that is really good, you see it stars Keanu Reeves and he….aw fuck it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_and_Ted%27s_Excellent_Adventure . Tuesday, 2 August comes and we’re finally able to close on the house and start getting moved in. It’s a fun new adventure, but I’m starting to feel like the title character in Brewster’s Millions, I’m going to be so sick of spending money at the end of this I’m never going to want to buy anything again, now I know why Dad’s everywhere are such tightwads. Still, I really like the house, the neighborhood is awesome and we’re getting settled in to a great new life in a great new house. Looking forward to sharing this with anyone who manages to make it back my way.

So for now this is it, I hope you all have enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. If there’s enough funny stuff from the Seattle trip I’ll write that up as well, but that’s still to be seen. Take care all.

The week in my hometown

Day 33 Sunday 17 July Reno to Lamoille, NV

We get a late start as we let the kids sleep in. Note to those without kids, when the time comes invest in blackout curtains, if your kid is light sensitive like mine they are a life saver. We listen to the Women’s World Cup final on ESPN radio through my iPhone on the drive to Elko, all hail modern technology. It would make a better story if the game had had a better result. Honestly, I’d feel happy for Japan if I didn’t feel like the U.S. lost the game more than Japan won it, as it is I’m just bitter. We get into Elko and meet up with my mom and drive out to the cabin in Lamoille. It’s nice to get out there and the dogs love it as we’re able to just let them roam all over the property without being leashed. One of the best things about my parent’s cabin being out in the middle of nowhere is that the stars at night are unbelievable. You can see the milky way and every star is bright and distinct. Sitting out and staring at them while talking is a great way to end an evening.

Day 34 Monday 18 July in Lamoille, NV

We head into Elko to meet with a high school buddy and his family for a playdate at the park and then meet with a business school friend and her fiancée for Lunch. Meeting with my high school buddy is great as he has a wonderful family and I really enjoy catching up again, the only awkward part is realizing that the last time I talked to him I was probably drunk and roaming the house in my underwear. My buddy from B school and fellow member of the 507 crew Emmy and her fiancee’ Wendy are driving from San Francisco to Louisville, KY and thus are able to stop through Elko on their own version of the epic drive. It’s really fun to see them and get a quick brief on what they’ve been doing since B-school ended. For those wondering it looks like they have arrived in Louisville safely and I look forward to, hopefully I’m invited after this, attending the wedding. I try to get them to drink the Ruby Mountain brands, a local beer that I enjoy. Emmy accuses me of being a secret hippy for drinking a local product, I reply I think the beer tastes good and would prefer to help keep the company in business. Still, the hippy thing stung, you’re on notice Gladney!

Day 35 Tuesday 19 July Lamoille, NV to Diamond Valley, NV to Lamoille, NV

Today we make a day trip to my sister’s house at the farm in Diamond Valley. The drive takes about two hours and most of them are spent on a tiny two-lane highway that winds through some stark, yet pretty country. On the way down I see a giant deer running towards the highway, further proof that the Hunter’s curse is in full effect, as I only see big deer like this when I’m not hunting. I start to slow down and keep an eye on the deer, which turns out to be a good thing as the damn thing runs across the highway about twenty feet in front of us. At the speed I was at that’s an uncomfortably close distance, but I stop the van in time and get treated to the sight of the deer turning, smiling at me and performing the kiss my ass motion. For those who would say deer can’t do that, I say you weren’t there. Diamond Valley is a pretty area and the house that Kati and my brother-in-law have built is really nice and well done. I really should have pictures in order to brag about it, but I’m not a real big camera guy. It’s a fun day, Logan and my nephew are very close in age and tend to play really well together, but they’re also going to give each other their first bloody noses, mark my words. After dinner we drive back to Lamoille and take Kati and Dean back with us. Megan, my sister, and I head over to a late night showing of the new Harry Potter movie and have a great time. The movie is very well done and was a satisfying capstone to the end of the Harry Potter franchise.

Day 36 Wednesday 20 July Lamoille, NV

The big thing we do today is drive up Lamoille canyon and try to take the family on a hike. Megan, Kati, and I and the three kids along with the two dogs go to a place called Thomas Canyon and do a quick hike up the trail there to see a really pretty waterfall. The hike is short because Logan melts down the second he starts on the trail. I’m wearing the baby backpack and have two dogs around my waist so picking him up isn’t an option for me and he’s so big now it isn’t really one for Megan either, so we have to turn around and basically cattle prod him down the trail. We hang out at the creek in the campground area for a bit and then drive back down to the cabin. My sister has to head back to her home on the ranch and so we say goodbye and wish her well. My mom heads down to the ranch for the night as well so it’s just Megan, me, and the kids at the house in Lamoille for the night.

Day 37 Thursday 21 July Lamoille, NV

Today’s a pool day and we take Logan down to the Elko pool, which hasn’t changed much since I was a kid. There are some notable changes though, the high and low dives have been replaced(thanks legions of underemployed lawyers) by a group of small tunnels like you’d find at a waterpark which I guess is cool, but the knowledge that my kids will grow up without the experience of trying to perform a flip off the high dive and then spend half an hour trying not to cry from the pain when they land awkwardly in the water makes me a little sad. The old basket and key system has been replaced by lockers, which takes away a whole row of benches and makes finding a clean place to sit a bit of an adventure. I take Logan out to the pool and he is all excited about swimming until a young lifeguard comes over and explains that he can’t wear his lifejacket. For those of you without small children, think of the lifejacket as like Linus’ blanket. He doesn’t function well in the water without it and today he loses his mind as I think he thought I took his lifejacket off just to be mean. I’m still trying to figure out how the pool has a no lifejacket policy, but I’ve decided that trying to make sense of government regulations/policies is a fruitless exercise. I know perfectly well that promotions and other methods of advancement are often predicated on designing new policies or procedures with little regard for what was in place before or even for the greater impact on the whole when the impact on one small and easily measurable thing is what’s important. Dealing with a pissed off 3 year old is not exactly my idea of a great afternoon, but we stay for a little while to try to let the kids burn off some energy. That night Megan and I go to dinner at a place called the Pine Lodge, it’s a steak and seafood place that’s a Lamoille institution with good food and prices to match. The décor of the place is also interesting, it’s full of taxidermy displays and just plain mounted heads. The most impressive one is the gigantic Elk head that is facing Megan and me throughout dinner, silently reproaching me as I eat my steak. Day 38 Friday 22 July Lamoille, NV

We decide today’s a great day to take Logan and my nephew to the creek on my mom’s property and let them play in it. It’s fun to let the boys run around and play in the water and the dogs enjoy it, too. Logan is fascinated by the tunnel that runs underneath the road and wants to go into it. I help him into the tunnel and then haul him out immediately when I see all the spiders on the top of the tunnel and remember from previous experience that many are likely to be Black Widows. Megan and I hit the hay early tonight as the adventure begins tomorrow.

Day 39 Saturday 23 July Lamoille, NV

Megan and I get up at 4 o’clock in the morning(For my business school buddies this is the time I believe you call crawl home drunk o’clock) and load ourselves and the dogs into the van. We head to Lamoille Canyon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamoille_Canyon A local treasure that is the main thing I love and miss about my hometown, I’m rarely back in Elko in the summertime and so the chance to hike up the Ruby Crest Trail to Lamoille Lake http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamoille_Lake_(Nevada) is one I am not about to miss out on. For those not from Elko, I am entrusting you with the great secret that something this beautiful exists in the middle of nowhere. If anyone lets the Californians find out about this and they invade the way they’ve invaded Colorado, New Mexico, and Oregon I will hunt you down and destroy you.

At any rate Megan and I hit the trail at just a little bit after five in the morning and once we get far enough up it that we think the dogs won’t head back down to the parking lot let the dogs off the leash to go run to their hearts content. We get up to where we can get a good view and it’s just fantastic. The light is just starting to hit the canyon and the mix of shadows and early morning sun on canyon walls makes for an impressive sight and I am glad we got up this early, not only to spare my mom the burden of dealing with all three kids for too long, but also because we have the trail and sights like these to ourselves. As we head up the trail I realize just how much the late spring has impacted everything. I have never seen snow this far down the trail in Late July, we get to a pretty significant snowfield and have to traverse the snow. Thankfully, we’re on the path well-chosen and people have basically stomped out a path in the snow to follow. The dogs love this and go tearing off straight down the mountain in the snow. I keep calling them back as I get steadily more nervous that they’ll go down an area steep enough to climb back up. Eventually we top out on the mini-plateau that the Dollar Lakes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollar_Lakes rest on and start looking for the trail, my extremely hazy memory is somewhat helpful as is the fact that the area where Lamoille Lake rests is clearly visible. The Dogs run into the water with ecstasy approaching that of their mealtimes(they’re dogs and as such their pleasures are simple it’s like they’re furry bachelors). We spot some cougar tracks in the snow which makes Megan nervous(understandably so the prints are huge), but I figure we’re a large enough party and making enough noise that a Mountain Lion is going to make sure to leave us the hell alone. We finally make it to Lamoille Lake at around 6:45 in the morning. My plans to go swimming I figured were ruined the moment I saw how far down the snow was and a look at the snow-choked and very glacial lake tells me my suspicion was correct. Leaving the polar-bearing to Kurt Anderson we turn back down the mountain and enjoy a fun hike back to the car. On the way back down, we scare up a family of deer and one of the bucks makes it a point to stop on the rocks with a perfect shooting silhouette and flip me off(Again were you there?).

We decide to stop for breakfast and enjoy a very nice meal at a bar in Lamoille called O’Carrol’s that has pulled off the interesting trick of being both a yuppie and redneck hangout which makes it perfect for me as I often feel like I ride that line more often than not. The breakfast is also notable as it’s the first time Megan and I have had breakfast alone together since Logan was born. On the whole it was a wonderful morning and a great way to spend the first part of our last full day in Nevada.

Sorry for the long delay but moving into a new house is exhausting. I'll have the drive home hopefully published by tomorrow and then stay tuned for the flight West to Seattle for a friend's wedding and minor high school reunion.

Part IV Portland to Sun River to Reno

Day 26 Sunday 10 July Portland, OR

Another beautiful, sunny day in Portland and I start wondering when the rapture is coming because this is clearly a sign that this is the end of days. Today’s my mother-in-law’s 70th birthday and most of the day is caught up with getting ready for the party that is being held at my brother-in-laws house. My brother in law has a very nice house with a HUGE backyard, which is good as there are a LOT of friends and family at the party and the backyard is full. The party is really nice and culminates with people telling their favorite stories about my Mother-in-Law, as a relatively recent arrival to the family most of the in-jokes fly WAY over my head, but the affection with which the stories are told is palpable. My Father-in-Law tells the story of how they met and then says something along the lines of it’s been a great life. There’s this really great evening light streaming into the backyard and everyone has a contented and reflective moment, it’s the perfect ending……..until someone decides it’s time to tell another story, and then another, and then another…………

Day 27 Monday July 11 Portland, OR to Sun River, OR

It’s my birthday and I am spending it doing two of the things I love most in the world; packing and driving long distances. Packing isn’t too bad because we have to have the backseat of the van up so we can transport our nieces, who are staying with their grandparents this week, out to Sun River with us and thus I have to pack most of the bags in my Father-in-Law’s truck which has a camper shell on a large bed and therefore room. Once again, I luck out by getting to drive with my father-in-law while Megan has the car full of kids, for those of you wondering how I pulled off this Jedi mind-trick I’ll just say right now I have no idea and I hope it stays that way, knowledge may ruin the magic.

Day 28 Tuesday July 12 Sun River, OR

Today is a high Holy day in the nerd church. It’s the day that the fifth book in George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series comes out!!!!!!! I finagle an early morning trip into Bend so I can get into town the moment the bookstore opens in order to buy a book I’ve been waiting eleven years for. To offer a quick critique, the book is good(much more satisfying than the fourth book in the series) and there are some interesting plot twists that come up, but too many character’s chapters end on a cliffhanger(something he was really good at in earlier books was transitioning characters to a new phase without cliffhangers and it seems he’s lost the gift with the fourth and fifth books, it’s a bit like watching how the TV show LOST kept writing itself into corners). I spend the rest of the day in a kind of contented nerdvana and enjoy my book. Because we couldn’t go out the day before, Megan and I go out to celebrate my birthday. We eat dinner at McMenamin’s pub in the downtown Bend area(We wanted to go to Deschutes brewery but they had a LONG wait and frankly us two party animals had a movie to catch). While working through my grilled tuna sandwich with the WORLD’S THICKEST BUN(if that’s not the official title it should be as it’s more informative than whatever bullshit was on the printed menu), I see something very cool. Some company in Bend has basically made these giant bicycles and converted them into traveling bars/tour bikes, basically think of a giant bar on wheels that people are pedaling around and you’ve got the concept. We go to see Horrible Bosses, which was a lot of fun and made me laugh even if I’m trying to avoid giving Jason Bateman money because he was in Arrested Development, the show that gave birth to Douchey McDouchenstein(Michael Cera)’s career.

Day 29 Wednesday July 13 in Sun River, OR

River Rafting Day! One of the beauties of Bend/Sun River is that one of the area rafting companies has recognized the money machine that parents seeking to distract their kids and have “Meaningful Family Experiences” can be and has a two hour raft trip featuring a mild stretch of rapids called “Big Eddie”. Logan’s a little too young, so Megan, my father-in-law and I take the three nieces(a 14 year old and 9 year old twins) out on the water. It’s a fun little trip, we get through the rapids just fine and Megan and my 14 year old niece ride on the very front of the raft through a section of mild rapids, which I’m sure was fun for them, seeing as how that left my father-in-law and I as the only paddlers except for the guide I didn’t enjoy it as much. I made sure I got my revenge by teaching my niece the “Hey what’s on the bottom of your shoe trick” used to get people out of the raft and into the river, I do this by performing a practical demonstration with her as the subject. The raft trip is over almost too quickly, but given we had two nine year olds it went about as long as it could.

Day 30(HOLY SHIT!) Thursday July 14 in Sun River, OR.

Nice, easy day with a short hike in order to get the kids out of the house. Not much to say about the hike except for this one little thing. When you have kids of your own, once they get a little older one very powerful revelation will hit you and that is that you are very happy your parents didn’t kill you and the joy you will take from watching your own kids going through this crap will be astronomical.

Day 31 Friday July 15 Travel Day from Sun River, OR to Reno, NV

The day starts out early and I get the car packed somehow. I still marvel at the fact that whenever we go on a trip back home our bags seem to mate and have lots of little baby bags that also need to get packed. That or I’m just getting tired of packing. Anyway, we get the dogs and kids in the van, say good bye to my in-laws and hit the road, we drive through the central part of Southern Oregon and the area is pretty, but sparsely populated. On the way we drive through Klamath Falls, a place I only knew about through hearing some friends who flew F-15’s bitch about it. Klamath Falls is one of two F-15 training bases with the other being in Florida(noticing a problem yet?)The area is beautiful with as HUGE lake and I start to question my buddies sanity, UNTIL we come up on the city of Klamath Falls itself, it’s tiny and I doubt there’s much going on. It’s also a good distance from any larger cities and isolation is really the word of the day. I decide it’s all part of the Air Force’s continuing marketing joke on its young male officers, join the Air Force in the prime of your youth, fly babe magnets, do exciting things that make you interesting and in return we will send you places where there are NO WOMEN WHATSOEVER. This is usually where Navy buddies crow about their base locations, to which I reply yes, but at least I didn’t have to be stuck on a boat, in the middle of nowhere, with five thousand other men. The rest of the drive is fine and we get into Reno without any drama and check into our rooms at the Grand Sierra Resort, which thankfully is right by the highway and well away from downtown Reno.
We end the day at a Mexican restaurant with a group of Megan’s sorority sisters. They’re all really nice but they’re not here for me and so I sit and enjoy my beer and distract Elizabeth by walking her to the different wall hangings when she gets fussy at the end of the night. Logan gets shown the game Angry Birds, which is great for distracting him, but he now wants to play it about once a day meaning I lose my phone for an hour when the time comes. Probably a good thing all things considered.

Day 32 Saturday 16 July Reno, NV

Enjoyable day with lots of hanging out at the hotel and taking Logan to the pool, the dogs do okay as well, even though they’re pretty well confined to the hotel room. I meet up with Phil Tousignant for dinner and an Aces game. Phil cooks up some steaks at his house and we enjoy sitting out in the backyard, talking, drinking beer, and eating steak. It’s always fun to sit around and talk with a great friend who you haven’t seen for awhile. While there’s a lot of ground to cover everything feels natural and easy and the conversation can go forever. I had an absolute ball and am almost disappointed to leave and go to the ballpark. That disappointment quickly fades when I see the Aces ballpark. It’s awesome, it’s right on the banks of the Truckee River, close to downtown, nice sightlines all over and a clearly enthusiastic fanbase. In my opinion this is the kind of thing Reno has been begging for, some sort of thing to do that doesn’t require long travel or going to the casinos. The game is fun and what’s even more fun is to look at the batting averages of the players. Everyone on the team has a plus .300 average, which shows the advantage of playing a majority of your games at high altitudes. Between Reno, Colorado Springs, Salt Lake, Albuquerque, and other places I really have no idea how GM’s evaluate Pacific Coast League Players. Another great thing about the park is there is a large bar complex attached with a stage for a band and a row of boards with people playing bags. We go up there for beers twice during the game and then after the game as well. After the game is over the area actually turns into quite a gathering place for people looking for a night out. It’s easy to see why, live band, open air on a beautiful night, and decent bars. Fun place, fun night.

The fun isn't over yet, the last installment will cover time in Elko, NV(my hometown) and the drive back to Michigan and our misadventure's with the mortgage company.

Hayden Lake week

Without any further ado....

Day 17- Friday 1 July in Portland , OR

Great, sunny day. It’s the type of day that is so rare in Portland that I swear I heard a kid say, “Mommy how come the clouds stopped working?”. I head with my Father in Law to an Army surplus/camping supply/rafting and kayaking supply store called Mac and Jack’s(I think it’s called that, but it’s more likely I’m projecting the name of a beer to the store) and walk around the store awestruck by the realization that there is apparently a HUGE market for the clothing I only wore because I was required to by law. It’s even more surprising that a store like this can exist in Portland where, based off the letters to the editor in the local newspaper, I assume the locals cook and eat anyone they see in military clothing. My father-in-law lost three of his oars on a river trip he takes with his buddies every year and buys replacements for the price of a small African kingdom, technology may be wonderful but it does have a tendency to raise the costs of things. I look around at the kayaks thinking this might be a fun hobby to get started on now that I live in a state with lots of water. I then see the pricetags on the kayaks and think renting will work for the next, oh, twenty years. I get back to the house and start packing for the drive to Couer D’Alene.

Day 18- Saturday 2 July travel day from Portland, OR to Coeur D’alene, ID

Packing/Driving Day! These are always my least favorite days, but at least this time there’s less to pack as we’re coming back to Portland after the week at the lake house and I don’t have to fit in the dogs. I get assigned to ride with my father-in-law in his truck, presumably so Megan and her mom can drive together and plot out ways to add expensive stuff to the house in ways I won’t find out about until it’s too late(it is possible I’m being paranoid). Driving with my Father-in-law is fun, mainly because the Willie Lyles-Oregon story has broken and I got to talk sports while he’s awake, that’s right I now know where Megan gets her ability to instantly fall asleep in the car from as Charlie is asleep the moment he’s in the passenger seat. I turn on my ipod and enjoy the silence as the landscape changes from Portland’s green paradise to the brown of the Eastern Oregon/Washington high desert. We get to the Lake house that we’ll be living at for the Smith family reunion. It’s a five bedroom, five bath gigantic house on Lake Hayden in Idaho and it’s a great place to hang out at. It has a dock on the lakeshore that you can jump off of or dive off of to go swimming in the lake. There’s also a huge deck that’s fun to hang out on and drink lots of beer on. I do my part by drinking most of the case of Fat Tire within the first three days.

Day 19 Sunday 3 July at Hayden Lake

Nice relaxing day for the most part with most of it spent at the lake trying to get Logan to jump into the deep part of the lake instead of just playing in the shallows. Today’s attempts are unsuccessful, but I have a whole week to get him in the deep water and decide to play the long con with him. That night we have a great dinner and then head down to the lake again where the effects of drinking beer all day have made my brothers-in law and I playful/combative. Thankfully the grandparents are there to watch the kids as Erik, Shawen, and I come up with several different ways to throw, tackle, push each other into the lake. I lose most of these contests for a simple reason: I’m a big dude, but my brothers-in-law are both ex-collegiate athletes who make me look like Rob Treadwell with even less muscle tone(somewhat impossible to picture I know but let your imagination fly). The three of us sober up pretty quickly because the lake is COLD, but that doesn’t stop the bull-moose battle royale if anything being sober makes us more cunning. The battle continues for the rest of the week and most of us mitigate the threat by holding onto the docks shade structure whenever we can. My brother-in-law Shawen's 15 year old nephew comes to visit on Wednesday and notices that Shawen, Erik, and I have established deathgrips on the bars of the structure and asks why we're doing that as it looks weird. We demonstrate the purpose of our actions by throwing him in the lake. Logan thinks this is great fun and decides to get in on the action by going up to us and saying “I’m going to push you in!(with more glee than I thought appropriate when he decided to get me)” We humor him and it makes for a pretty fun game for the rest of the week, especially when we start pulling him in with us.

Day 20 Monday 4 July at Hayden Lake

Megan and I get Logan to walk down the stairs on the dock into the deep part of the lake and he does this adorable doggy paddle in a lifejacket to swim out to us and eventually swim all around the water. He’s really brave but I can’t get him to jump off the deck to us which may be asking a bit much of a three year old. Still seeing him love to swim this much is fun and makes for great times out in the water. Whenever a boat goes by and the wake causes waves we make a game of it going “Wheee!” really loudly to keep him from freaking out and Logan catches on and proves he’s from Michigan by saying “Oh, it’s a hayride!” As the waves cause him to go up and down in the water. We also get Logan to submit to being held by us while we jump in the water. As long as he’s not cold he is really good in the water and I’m obnoxiously proud of him.

Of course it’s the fourth of July and no day like this is complete without being able to dress up your kids in outfits of Red, White, and Blue. I’m biased but I think Elizabeth wins the day as this picture demonstrates.

The fun continues that night with fireworks over the lake which Logan calls “The big party!” the city of Couer D’Alene puts on a really good show although since we’re so far away from it the fireworks don’t seem to fill up the sky like they do when you’re closer to them.

Day 21 Tuesday 5 July at Hayden Lake

So Imagine you wake up in the morning and have a choice of three ways to spend your day. You can A) drive two and a half hours to a place out in the middle of nowhere in Idaho in order to pay ten dollars for the privilege of doing back breaking work out in the sun during the hottest part of the day to look for worthless gemstones for five hours. B)Continue to hang out at the lake, go swimming during the hottest part of the day, relax, play games, read, and drink beer or C)Get punched in the nuts by Mike Tyson for an hour. If it were up to me I’d order my choices as B, C, A. One of the differences between growing up in a rural area and growing up in a city is that if you grow up in a rural area you’ve done all the boring, backbreaking work that masquerades as family fun and know it sucks instead of being the adventure the city-raised types imagine it to be. I could raise my objections and point out the folly of the whole enterprise seeing as how we only have a limited amount of days at the lake house and they’re choosing to waste one of them, but I recognize that the train has left the station and I would be accused of being lazy. This may be true but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a point.

We drive out there on winding, twisting highways and while the landscape is pretty it’s not anything different from what we can see from, y’know, the back porch of the house. I think about the movie Cars and the holier-than-thou speech Bonnie Hunt’s character gives about the highway moving with the land and how people drove to have a great time and that the interstate has ruined everything. I decide that whoever wrote that script for Pixar hasn’t had to swerve for miles on end and listen to kids sitting in the back bitching about carsickness and can therefore kiss my ass, I say give me dynamite and straight lines any day. We get to the place and it’s everything I predicted it would be, hot, open to the sun, dusty, muddy by the water trough, and full of horseflies. The people at this place are an interesting mix of retired rockhounds, other families that got suckered into thinking this would be fun, and I’m assuming some truly desperate people hoping to find one or two of the actually valuable stones called star garnets. The digging and sifting goes on for a while and Logan quickly gets bored with each phase of the garnet hunting eventually preferring to just run his hands through the muddy water in the trough. While this lets me get away with not having do much digging or sifting(Yay!) it does mean I have to corral my three year old son in an area without many distractions until the rest of the family wises up and realizes how much fun they’re not having(Boo!). Finally everyone gets hot and bored and we get back in the car for the three hour trip home.

Days 22-24 Wednesday-Friday 6-8 July at Hayden Lake

Groundhog day, but in a good way.

Day 25 Saturday 9 July travel day Hayden Lake, ID to Portland, OR

We spend the morning packing and hit the road for the drive back to Portland. I drive with my father-in-law in his truck again while Megan and my mother-in-law take Logan, Elizabeth, and our three nieces who are going to spend the week with us in Sun River back. So basically while Megan has to drive back listening to the whining of the five kids in the car, I get to read, listen to music and practice beatboxing to my father-in-law’s snoring when he falls asleep. I am EPIC WIN!!!

And on that note I will leave off for now, next update will encompass Sun River, Reno, and Elko.

Thiel Family Roadtrip Adventure Part II

Hello All and here we go again,

Day 7 – Tuesday in Sun River, OR(Resort community just outside of Bend)
For those of you who read my last post and wondered if I had forgotten I had a daughter as well, set your mind at ease, I only forgot about her for a little while. In my defense she’s such a calm, easy baby you forget she’s there. She’s also self-maintaining as I’ll illustrate with this little story. During the car trip Elizabeth would get hungry and cry for food, the way we would feed her would be to twist around in the passenger seat and feed her the bottle. As you can imagine this is less than comfortable, but we would be stuck in this position for at least ten minutes a feeding as she likes to take her time on the bottle. Then we discovered a wonderful, wonderful thing Elizabeth likes to hold up the bottle by herself and rarely drops it. So when she got hungry we would hand the bottle back, make sure it was positioned properly and then turn around and let our seven month old baby feed herself. That’s right we’re definitely up for parents of the year. For the most part Tuesday was pretty lazy and that’s just the way I like it.

Day 8-Wednesday in Sun River, OR
Logan’s back on his regular schedule and one would think this is a good thing. However, this now means that he no longer takes a nap and that his vial of goodness runs out around 5p.m. Today we take Logan to the little kids park and he spends most of his time as the weird little kid who sits on the spinny circle thing and sings to himself. As a nerd and sci/fi fantasy fan I’m torn between pride that he apparently hasn’t fallen far from my weirdness tree and worry that he’ll be a goth. The pool session is extremely productive as I get him to float on three of those Styrofoam noodle things and kick himself around the pool instead of screaming at the top of his lungs when I even shift my weight a little bit while holding him.

Day 9 Thursday in Sun River, OR
Again fairly low-key day, but Megan and I do take advantage of the free babysitting that masquerades as “spending time with the grandkids”. We go to see Super8, which is okay. I would have called it a new classic but they screwed up the ending big-time in my opinion and now I take less joy in the parts that did work. It’s worth seeing but wait for video/cable.

Day 10 Friday in Sun River, OR
Megan’s parents take off in the morning and we have the cabin to ourselves. Megan and I celebrate by moving up stairs to the cabin’s main bedroom with the king-size bed. I’m already plotting how to talk my way into getting the main room when we come back to the cabin in a little over two weeks. There’s a big race weekend in Sun River and Megan has friends coming in. She takes a look at the hippy hairstyles Logan and I have cultivated over the past few weeks and calls and makes a haircut appointment for us, note the lack of consulting me on this. We go into the main Sun River mall and Megan takes us to a Stylist. For one used to getting his haircut by crusty old barbers in shops filled with sports memorabilia, this is somewhat worrying but I swallow my pride and head in. The guy who cuts Logan’s and my hair is actually pretty nice and there are pictures of his wife and kids on the wall. I ask him if he’s there to do the men’s haircuts and he replies that he does women’s hair as well. My internal circuits fry at the thought of a straight man doing women’s hair and I decide I hear him wrong and press ahead. The whole mall area is completely remade for the race. Megan goes and registers for the half marathon and I watch Logan raise hell in the outdoor bouncy castle area they have set-up for the kids. Strangely enough waiting in line is not a concept three year olds deal well with. Some kid in an Ohio St. cap shoots his mouth off at me, I smile and say “Go Blue.” and then grin as I realize he’s doomed to the life of a crazed redneck.That night we go to a pre-run pasta feed with a live band and pay 8 bucks a person for crappy pasta, Caesar salad and the driest breadsticks known to man. Given that this is a pre-marathon/triathlon event I am surrounded by legions of in-shape people and all seem to be eyeing me wondering what I’m doing there. I finally retreat back to the cabin under the weight of their judging eyes and have a beer while grinning and basking in the fact I can drink it without doing any calorie/carb calculations. Haha take that you in-shape people.

Day 11 Saturday and still in Sun River
Megan wakes up early to go to the race with her friends that stayed with us the night before. I stay back with the kids and Megan calls me to come and meet her with sunscreen along the trail. I head out to meet her with the kids and watch the people run/walk by us. Logan announces he has to go pee-pee and asks to pee against a tree, bursting with pride I help him and Megan pulls up a couple minutes later. She’s pretty focused on the sunscreen and doesn’t notice Logan trying to show her where the tree was thirsty. I head back to the cabin with the kids and Megan gets back a couple hours later. I take Logan to the pool and Megan and I pop open some Champagne to celebrate finishing the half-marathon, I fall asleep after three glasses.

Day 12 Sunday in Sun River
Megan wakes up sore which is perfectly understandable and decides that she has earned a trip to the Alpenglow restaurant in Bend, which is famous for its breakfasts. I agree and we head in and I get to see what all the fuss is about. At first glance this is the kind of restaurant I hate with the burning passion of a thousand suns, lots of literature about localized food and “carbon footprints” along with hipster clientele. I sit down thinking but one thought. “This food better be fucking good.” And it is! Oh, it is! Thick cut bacon with very little fat on it, and looks like it was torn off the pig as it ran away, the little red powder on top of the hollandaise sauce on the Eggs Benedict and unbelievable and well-spiced home fries. After breakfast I head back to the surgery area so they can take out my kidney to pay for the meal and then we head out into Bend for a few hours. The rest of the day goes nicely and we retreat back to the cabin for more swimming.

Day 13 Monday travel day between Sun River and Portland
We plan on waking up at 6 and then leaving by 10. We end up leaving by 11:25, I still have no idea how we end up leaving late every time, but we’ve perfected the art. We drive out through the mountains and it is a gorgeous drive, full of twists and turns. I drive the three hours to Portland and Megan stays awake this time, I suspect it’s in order to say “No” every time I try to pass the truck in front of me on the two lane highway. This would be fine except the truck is going ten to fifteen mph below the speed limit and that triggers my inner caveman. There’s also a bunch of bicyclists on the road which on one level makes sense as it’s a nice, cool day, it’s all downhill, and the scenery is great. Here’s the problem the highway we’re on has absolutely no shoulder so these poor bastards have to hug close to the side of the road and freak out every time a car goes by. This is what happens every time I drive up behind a biker, I hit the brakes and mentally count off years of brake life every time I do so(the hill is really steep) until enough space opens up on the opposite side of the highway for me to get around the biker. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for biking but biking on a busy highway full of twists and turns with no shoulder for you to ride on seems completely crazy to me. We get into Portland and start on Megan’s friends and family tour.

Days 14-16 Tuesday-Thursday in Portland
Nothing really stands out except for Wednesdays events. For those of you who have seen the show Man vs. Food, you know of how it does a great job of showing locally-owned and operated joints with good/unique food. I decided that I wanted to go to a place called the Stepping Stone café which was featured on the show for having something called “Mancakes” these giant pancakes that are meals in and of themselves. So far the places I’ve been to that have been featured on Man v. Food have been good, but there have to be duds here and there. This place was a big-time dud, poor service and a on-purpose dive(the place looked seriously dirty and gross) and the pancakes weren’t that good. There was some truth in advertising as one pancake was enough to keep me from eating for the rest of the day, but not in a good way I felt like I had a giant rock in my gut. There will now be much skepticism about man v. food joints in the future. We then wentto the Oregon Zoo which has a very cool animatronic dinosaur exhibit and I torture Logan by holding him up to the T-Rex to try to take his picture. Later that night Megan and I take advantage of the whole “spending time with the grandkids” thing to go see X-Men First Class which was awesome. Seriously good movie and I was very impressed.

Stay tuned for updates from Hayden Lake, ID; Sun River, OR; All over Nevada; and the road trip home.

Thiel Family Roadtrip Adventure Stage I complete!

Hello All, First the disclaimer, for everyone who's thinking "Matt's stealing Sunidh's Idea!" You are absolutely right!, but I will point out that as a consultant "adapting" other peoples' ideas is how I make my living. So on to the show.

Day 1 Ann Arbor to Madison, WI-
We finally get moved out of the house and I begin the first of many "discussions" about the deposit and damages with my landlord. My personal favorite moment is when he threatens to go to the JAG(military lawyer) over my plan to withhold rent until we come to an agreement about damages as he was not on hand to do a walkthrough with me. He's set to lose a ton of money on the house when he finally does sell it, which I would feel bad about if he wasn't such a flaming asshole about it. Those of you still in Michigan if you hear about a fire at my old house I want you to know two things:
1. We have no possessions or any interest remaining at the house and 2. My landlord totally caused it to get the insurance money.

I first pack the car without putting the Dogs in a soft sided crate as I figure they'd appreciate not being cramped for the whole drive. Sierra immediately teaches me the error of my ways by climbing to the top of the baggage pile within the first fifteen minutes of the drive. We try leashing her up which only works to ensure she pulls the whole baggage structure down when she jumps down after climbing to the top of it. Finally I decide that I would rather be evil than have my car get destroyed by an insane lab and put both dogs into one crate. This works to keep them (mostly) in the same place and after three days we finally settle on a packing system that works. The rest of the day passes without incident either good or bad(although if Chicago traffic is that bad at noon on a Wednesday I believe the city is now beyond hope) and we arrive in Madison and stay at the home of a family friend.

Day 2 Madison, WI to Alexandria, MN

Wearing a Michigan shirt in Wisconsin is really fun! although it does damage my image of the state being filled with genial giants whose diets consist only of beer and cheese. Unfortunately it's hard to respond to any crap-talking as the damn Badgers tend to do this annoying winning thing when they play Michigan. We get to Megan's cousins house in Minnesota and discover that it's on a lake. Logan is course in love with it and heads immediately down to the house dock and will not go back up to the house no matter what. For those of you without kids remember that Logan has been in the car for about eight hours and talking him into doing anything is closer to a pitched battle than a reasoned discussion. Eventually you just get tired of fighting them and let them do what they want as long as it's not harming anything. I take a beer down with me and realize there are worse things in the world than drinking a beer on the lake while watching your son. Megan's relatives come over for a barbecue and suddenly there's a group of people who are more than happy to watch Logan, this makes me happy as it allows me to go back to the house and get more beer. Eventually fishing rods get broken out and I try to teach Logan how to fish, but amazingly he doesn't have the patience for it and I have to have a big fight with him when I get tired of it and put the pole back. Before bed we make s'mores over an open fire and I'm now tempted to get a genetic test to make sure Logan really is Megans and my son as he doesn't like them.

Day 3 Alexandria, MN to Bismarck, ND

I wake up screaming as I realize that I will be setting foot once again in North Dakota. After taking approximately fifty horse tranquilizers I am calm enough to contemplate setting foot in this worst of all states again. The journey starts without incident and continues until I discover a fun fact, when the range display on the Honda Odyssey says fifty miles it really means around 10. Somehow we find a small gas station about three miles off the highway and coast into it on fumes. Even better is the fact that we're in a huge thunderstorm and there is no cover over the pumps. Basically this means I get to pump gas while getting completely soaked and I get back in the van looking like I'd decided to jump in a lake with my clothes on. Megan asks if I'm okay, but my teeth are chattering too hard to reply.

A few hours later the sun is shining and Logan announces he has to go to the bathroom, a quick look around shows approximately fuck-all for bathrooms nearby and so we pull off to the side of the road and I teach Logan the manly art of the roadside pee. This is now tied with teaching him how to operate a keg as my proudest moment as a father. Logan is so impressed by his new ability that he does it everyday for the rest of the trip. We get into Bismarck and I discover that, based off their reactions to a Michigan hat, people in North Dakota are still not over the loss in the Frozen Four. We take Logan to the hotel pool to get him some time to swim and get some exercise and there is a black tie party in the nearby ballroom for a shriners/masons/grand order of fraternal douchebags gathering. The bartender doesn't buy my story about being in town for the convention and I am unable to score any free drinks, this may be because I was wearing a swimsuit at the time.

Day 4 Bismarck, ND to Billings, MT
Apparently there is a statue of a giant cow in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota, I know this because it is a tradition in Megan's family to stop and take a picture in front of it. We find said Giant Cow and go up to get our picture taken. This is something of a tourist hotspot as three other cars are there, said cars are also filled with parents desperate to distract their kids and get them some exercise. Learn a lesson here, if you want to make money build a giant thing in North Dakota and charge a buck a car to visit it. It's a money machine, I tell you, a money machine. We get to Megan's cousins place in Billings and the effects of long days in the car on Logan are getting more and more obvious. In an attempt to burn off some of his energy Megan's cousin and I take him kite flying, which like fishing is another thing that sounded better in theory than in practice, Logan has more fun chasing the jackrabbits in the field.

Day 5 Billings, MT to Coeur D'Alene, ID
Long day(515 miles) and Montana is COLD for this day of driving. Luckily I now live in Michigan and refer to 40' as "shorts weather". About an hour out of Billings we start to hit the mountains and the scenery is beautiful. It really makes for a great day of driving, except for one litte thing. Megan has a tendency to fall asleep the moment she gets in the passenger seat and then becomes startled awake by lane changes, speed changes, rough bits of road, swerving a little too much, temperature changes in the car, etc.
This leads to the following conversation every damn time:
Megan: Ahhh!!! Ahhh!!! Are you okay?!
Me: Yes, honey
Megan: Okay, let me know if you want to swiiiiiiiii...........
Me: Yes, honey.
Since we're I-90 through the mountains we have this conversation approx. 50,000 times. We get to our hotel, meet with Megan's brother, sister-in-law and three nieces. We take the kids to the pool and have a great time until the greater Montana meth dealers association decides to come join us. Normally, I count White Trash as my people but I do require they have teeth and wear something besides ratty street clothes while swimming. Fearing a driveby we retreat back to our room and call it a night.

Day 6 Billings, MT to Bend, OR

Nice pleasant day on the road with nothing really interesting happening. I'm here in Bend until Monday and it's really pleasant to wake up in the same place two days in a row. We've been walking the dogs twice a day and generally settling in to relax as much as possible. I've started running again after a two-week hiatus and as embarassing as this is for a son of the high desert Elko, NV(elevation 5,066 ft) and graduate of the Air Force Academy(elevation 7,258 ft.) running at 4000 ft is really f'ing hard and I'm ending every run thinking one though and one thought only "Oxygen!". Hope everyone is having a great sumer I've enjoyed seeing updates and reading/hearing about your adventures. I wish I could send out a more personal message, but this is a lot to type and frankly Logan wants to go to the pool, so duty calls.